Everton and walking on water

Gerry and the Pacemakers did it by ferry, but yesterday a guy became the first man to WALK across the River Mersey.
He set off just before 8am and took just over an hour to cover the two miles from Ince Banks, near Ellesmere Port in Cheshire to Oglet Shore near Liverpool’s John Lennon Airport, with only a helicopter and a hovercraft for company
‘You just have to keep moving all the time and go for it,' he said. 'It's unbelievably difficult as the currents are quite strong in the Mersey’.
I must say I’m not too happy about this record and may have to raise an objection. First of all, he did not walk ON the water in true biblical fashion, but THROUGH it. Second, he had an unfair advantage - he did it at low tide and his head stuck out above the water, (he’s 6ft 9 - 2.06 metres – tall). Third, he refused a doping test. And finally, he’s a Yorkshireman. Were no Scouses available?
But I guess it’s all right: he was hoping to raise £100,000 for a charity for people with the genetic skin blistering condition, Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB). I hope he didn’t put the word on poor Sir Paul – he’s down to his last £600 million and will need it all for the lawyers.

Four days, 20 hours and 15 minutes to go. The big kick-off is at 3pm Saturday. We have a new striker - well, not new exactly, but only slightly used - and we're playing at home against one of the newly-promoted teams from what used to be called the second division. We won't get a better chance. Allez les bleus!